The day started off like another day, waking up feeling unrefreshed, grumpy and frumpy. A passing glance in the mirror didn’t heighten the expectation of the day. I had developed a clear case of muffinotitis and on my way to auditioning as the next Michelin man. I don't really have any excuse not to exercise and look after myself, I have access to a great gym not including the treadmill and elliptical cross trainer at home.
For some reason whilst chatting about the Currumbin Eco village, we got sided tracked into a conversation regarding Kezzas, Gran doing Zumba classes. Now if an elderly lady can manage to go do some latin aerobics, be it to perve on the instructor surely I can muster up some motivation to renew and invigorate my aging body.
Usually at this stage I will try and come up with difficult ways to solve a problem, but remembering last nights episode of The Gruen Transfer (ABC) regarding their segment on direct marketing (infomercials), it got me thinking; what would a lazy person do. So what about Zumba I thought, or Windsor Pilates (no longer available in Australia) or the myriad of getting yourself into shape, abs like a Mars rover and only 3 payments of $19.90.
Not having that amount of cash to splash am a student after all, what else could I do, what do these things have in common. I figured it must be the people moving expertly and making you feel totally inadequate as you watch them on the idiot box. So what is so substantially different with these products and methods to prancing about on the telly compared to good old Aerobics Oz style. As far as I can tell the health kickee is mimicking a set of routines from a charismatic personality. The difference is the way it is presented to the public.
This difference of being hip and happening, presenting REAL stories and experiences by people just like me apparently, I never knew I was that much overweight or such a loser is the mainstay of these products. O.k am kinda sold on the idea, now which package should I warrant to invest my pool money with. Still taking the lazy easy path, Zumba is potentially a great way to dance my student induced lifestyle weight gain off. I can even do it the lab and if I'm lucky other people might join me instead of shunning and thinking am a nutter. So whats with all this dancing, its combining two things I have grown to distance myself from; dancing and exercise. Are there other dance your butt of programs I pondered. Thanks to the skills acquired from my laboratory sessions, I hit Google, a whole population of dancing fitness videos are offered such as Hip Hop Abs, Belly dancing, even the 'So you think you can dance' franchise has gotten in on the act, there must be some dosh to be made.
If I am going to prance around my living room like a ding bat while watching the LCD TV listening to some douche telling me how good I am, I may as well watch a video clip. The Mount Isan new exercise phenomenon is born. Am going to dance my way to a Ghey-er body, with no down payment plan within ear shot.
How am I going to achieve this in the world of 8 min abs, by going back to the 80's. Back to the world of disco, bad taste, bad music, more cheesier jokes that I will ever come up with. My body will be transformed and transcend this pathetic shell by none other than the Village People. To be precise their music videos will. They have all of the formant of an infomercial fitness video package, music and bad dance routines projected proudly into my being.
The day began with one type of village people and concluded with another.
Happy Villaging
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